Disappointment

This was written a few years ago.

It's sad when you work hard at something and it fails. I don't like speaking failure, but I can admit when things don't turn out how I planned.

It's sad.....just so sad. I guess the reality is that I am not what I might have to be, in order for this to have turned out right.

I did what everyone suggested.

I even wrote down a few notes along the way so I wouldn't forget.

Yet I sit here, with the reality....that this thing just didn't work out. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be amazing, but it wasn’t – far from it.

Some of you can guess what I'm talking about, because some of you I share my most intimate stories. For those of you who don’t know, I invite you to my disappointment.

Today, I tried to make arroz con gandules ( Puerto Rican style). All I ended up making - was mushy rice stuff.

It's just so sad.

I looked up all kinds of recipes, bought the right ingredients and yet...I sit with a pot full of "nothing special rice mush".

I have felt this since I was young – maybe I am not meant to be in the kitchen. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t make Puerto Rican Rice. MAYBE! Maybe because I'm not Puerto Rican? Maybe I shouldn’t expect to make it "their" way. BUT,.....well I can't make Mexican rice either, so what is that saying? ( I also have no natural Latin rhythm, so IDK)

I used whole wheat rice, could that have been it? IDK It's just sad.

I was so sure this first baby step was going to lead to monumental events in the kitchen. I had made sofrito, but - well there was little glory in that because it's kind of hard to screw up a bunch of chopped up vegetables!

Whatever.

I better go now....because I have a whole pot of rice I have to find some way to eat.

God bless us! EVERY ONE!

UPDATE – To this day, I have never made a good pot of rice. But I still will make it. Using brown rice is perhaps the issue, but it’s a choice. I learned how to make pernil, which is more involved than dumb rice.